Jurassic Park on a Spaceship

Published November 10, 2013 by joscasta

Days left till the 50th: 13

Episodes watched:  90

Today’s Episode: Dinosaurs on a Spaceship!

Writer: Chris Chinball

The worst poster of this half of the season.. looks like a horrible Photoshop job.


So the Doctor is hanging out with Queen Nefertiti, having just saved her people from giant locusts, and he gets a message from the Indian Space Association (who knew they had one?) in the year 2367, and she just barges her way onto the Tardis for this adventure. He learns that there is a spaceship the size of Canada headed toward the earth, right on a collision course. They mention 16 hours and 19 minutes till they send up missiles to make the ship explodey-woodey. So he decides to gather a gang together. He heads to the African plains to meet up with Riddell, the big African game hunter, (played by the same guy that is in Sherlock, Rupert Graves, so I’m sure Moffat had zero problems convincing him to get on board) and then goes to the present day and nabs Amy and Rory 10 months since Asylum, materializing around them, thus accidentally kidnapping Rory’s Dad, Brian, as Amy and Rory were holding the ladder as he was trying to fix a light.

So they head to the spaceship, and the Doctor accuses Brian of being a stowaway, and once Rory explains whom he is, the Doctor likes him. Then the doors open, and two Dinosaurs come out, to which the Doctor says gleefully.. “Dinosaurs on a Spaceship!”

I have no idea where they came up with this one… but we are treated to dinosaur skin on the opening credits..


Thus after hiding, Brian freaks out..

Dinosars flying spaceship

Thus leaving Rory to explain that, “Hey, remember when we told everyone we went traveling to Thailand after getting hitched? Well it really was all of time and space. Sorry for lying.” Thus leaving his dad gobsmacked. So the Doctor decides to try to find the engine room, and Brian, Rory and the Doctor get transported to a beach.  This whole scene is too funny…

BRIAN: We’re outside. We’re on a beach.

DOCTOR: Teleport! Oh, I hate teleports. Must have activated on my voice.

BRIAN: (angrily) Ah, yes, well, thank you, Arthur C Clarke! Teleport, obviously, I mean, we’re on a spaceship, with dinosaurs, why wouldn’t there be a teleport? In fact why don’t we just teleport now?! (walks off)

DOCTOR: Is he all right?

RORY: He hates travelling. Makes him anxious. He only goes to the paper shop and golf.

DOCTOR: What did you bring him for?

RORY: I didn’t! Why can’t you just phone ahead, like any normal person?

BRIAN: (re-joins them) Can somebody tell me where we are, now?

DOCTOR: (sticks out tongue) Well, it’s not Earth. Doesn’t taste right, too metallic.

A large bird flies overhead, screeching.

BRIAN: Is that a kestrel?

DOCTOR: I do hope so.

RORY stands from where he was feeling the ground.

RORY: The beach is humming.

DOCTOR: Is it? (feels the ground) Oh, yes! (stands) Right, well, don’t just stand there, you two, dig! (brushes hands) I’m going to look at rocks. Love a rock. (walks off)

RORY: Dig with what?

The DOCTOR holds up his hands and keeps walking. BRIAN pulls something from his pocket. It is a collapsible trowel.

BRIAN: Ah! Well! (starts digging)

RORY: Did you just have that on you?

BRIAN: Of course! What sort of a man doesn’t carry a trowel? Put it on your Christmas list.

RORY: (squats) Dad, I’m 31. I don’t have a Christmas list any more.

DOCTOR: (raises both arms and shouts) I do!

RORY gives the DOCTOR a thumbs-up. BRIAN taps metal under the sand.

BRIAN: There’s a floor under this beach!

I love this, as we have a lovely reference to HITCHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY HERE! Yup, the trowel = towel. I always laugh so hard at this, as the Doctor says everything so matter of fact, and Rory is just so logical, and his Dad is too, so these three guys together is just so funny.

Anyway, some guy tells some people, “Oh did you hear that? Bring them to me!” and that’s just a wee foreshadowing, as he is watching a video of the Doctor on the beach.

Meanwhile, Amy finds out that she’s with the amazing Queen, Nefertiti, and that she’s also with the clueless Riddell. She loves the queen, and can’t stand Riddell, as he has no idea how to behave around women. They accidentally stumble upon a T-Rex nest, whoops! The Queen asks Amy if she is a Queen too, and Amy can’t help but answer that she is.

Thus we head back to the beach with more craziness..

DOCTOR: See! Metal floor, screens in rocks. It was just a short-range teleport. We’re still on the ship.

BRIAN: No. We’re outside, on a beach.

RORY: No, it’s part of the ship, Dad.

BRIAN: Don’t be ridiculous.

DOCTOR: Well, it is quite ridiculous, also brilliant. That’s why the system teleported us here – I wanted the engines. (turns around, arms open) This is the engine room! Hydro-generators.

BRIAN: I have literally no idea what he’s saying.

RORY: A spaceship powered by waves.

DOCTOR: (puts arms over BRIAN and RORY’S shoulders) Fabulously impossible! Oh, think of the things we could learn from this ship if we manage to stop it being blown to pieces.

RORY: Plus, not dying.

DOCTOR: Bad news is – can’t shut the wave systems down in time. Takes… (turns around and looks up) takes way too long.

RORY: (studies the screen) If these are the engines, there must be a control room.

DOCTOR: Exactly. (puts arms over BRIAN and RORY’S shoulders) That’s what we need to find. (whispers) Now, what do we do about the things that aren’t kestrels?

They slowly turn around and the creatures screech as they get closer. They do not look like birds.

BRIAN: Oh, my Lord. Are those pterodactyls?

The pterodactyls are getting closer.

DOCTOR: Yes. On any other occasion, I’d be thrilled. Exposed on a beach, less than thrilled. We should be going.

The DOCTOR grabs the hands of the two men and runs along the beach in front of the cliff face.

BRIAN: Where? 

DOCTOR: Definitely away from them!

RORY: That’s the plan?!

DOCTOR: That’s the plan! Amendments welcome! Move away from the pterodactyls!

RORY: I think they might be noticing!

DOCTOR: Amended plan – run!

RORY: Can’t we just teleport or something?

DOCTOR: No, local teleport’s burned out on arrival. There’s an opening in the cliffs over there!

RORY: (to BRIAN) Come on, run!

BRIAN: I’m trying!

When they are within site of the cave, one of the pterodactyls nips RORY on the shoulder. They make it inside the cave.


Once safely inside, RORY stops and leans against the wall.

BRIAN: Are you all right?

RORY: Yeah, I’m fine. (to DOCTOR) What do we do now? There’s no way back out there.

DOCTOR: Through the cave, come on.

The DOCTOR heads deeper into the cave but stops upon hearing a loud thudding.

DOCTOR: That suggestion was a work in progress.

BRIAN: We’re trapped!

DOCTOR: Yes, thanks for spelling it out.

RORY: Doctor, whatever’s down there is coming this way.

DOCTOR: (to himself) Spelling it out is hereditary, wonderful!

Thus, Rory the Doctor and Brian are “kidnapped”.

Amy, Riddell, and the Queen begin punching buttons in some room to find out what is going on with the ship. Amy then is able to determine that it’s a Sirlurian Ark. Remember them from way back in Season 5? Hungry Earth and Cold Blood? Yes? No? Well they apparently are out among the stars trying to find a new home.

So the fugly robots take the boyz to their leader, but first they meet a triceratops. It goes right up to Brian, thus making the Doctor remark.. “Do you have any vegetable matter in your pants?” to which Brian replies, “Only my Balls”…


Oh that balls… thank god. So Brian throws one at the suggestion of the Doctor, and off it goes, just like a dog. Who knew?

Amy and her gang find out that there are none of those lizardish people on board, and play spot the difference to discover the ship that the boyz are hanging out around.

There we meet Soloman, who is played by the awesome, David Bradley. He will play William Harnell aka One, in “An Adventure Through Time and Space” coming up soon!

So the Doctor gets scanned and Solomon discovers he is worthless, which has never happened before. So he threatens the Doctor to fix him by having his robots shoot Brian. It is discovered that Rory carries around nursing supplies, just like his dad carries that trowel.

Amy then calls Rory, which shocks Brian. So apparently at some point the Doctor makes both their phones into Superphones eh? So, after explaining what she learned about the ship to Rory, he hands it off to the Doctor whom then finds out that Solomon killed all the lizardish people since he wanted the very valuable dinosaurs. Thus the Doctor informs him about the missles, and earth and then kinda takes off, by telling the stupid robots that Solomon wants them.

They run off and find the Triceritops! The Doctor decides.. HEY LETS RIDE IT!

ride 1

ride 2 

However they can’t figure out how to start it until Brian throws a golf ball. The Robots are too slow to catch up with them, and the boyz can’t figure out how to stop until the poor dinosaur hits the wall. It does return the ball to Brian, just like a doggie! Sadly at the moment, the ISA sends a message to the ship, missles are coming, sorry.

Meanwhile Riddell finds dart guns! Yay they don’t have to kill the dinosaurs!

Rory and the Doctor riff, as Rory’s like defense systems? Which promps the doctor to do this…

da kiss

Ahhhh yesssss.. kiss!!!

Sadly, this is an ARK, thus no defense systems. Then Solomon teleports to them, demanding the Queen. The Doctor says no. So Solomon then kills the triceratops. Amy and gang teleport to their location, and the Queen gives herself up. Solomon and the robots, and the Queen then teleport to the small ship.

Thus the Doctor and remaining gang head off to the control room. They decide to try to turn the ship around. However it needs two people of the same gene chain to do so. Thus Brian and Rory pilot the ship, Amy and Riddell shoot dinosaurs..


While the Doctor grabs some green thingy and teleports to Solomon’s ship. He then manages to grab the Queen, leaves behind the green thingy that the missles will latch onto, and then allows Solomon’s ship to leave… thus changing the course of the missles to his ship, exploding it! YAY!

So, everyone heads home, well not everyone,

ridel and the queen

and the Doctor takes the dinosaurs somewhere safe!

safe planet for the dinosaurs

I have a belief that, Rory is a lost Weasley, and this confirmed it, having Mark Williams play his dad, I know he doesn’t have red hair but, he should be one.. well an honorary one!

Till tomorrow.. where we visit the olde west! 


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